GOIN' TO VILNIUS.

9/11

My life pretty much collapsed in one.... ONE day.

Now that's what I call monday morning. ~10 calls, 5 coffee, 11 cigs, all shaking and hyper-active.
Gonna be back to Vilnius in four days for 1.5days.
RHCP - on and I'm out for some more coffee.
Things are gettin good.
I shouldn't stop here. I must keep on doin it and push myself forward and forward. Life is like Forex Trading : you can put SL (Stop loss) or TP (Take profit) anywhere you want. I have no TP in real life now and it's going up. Trendline is about to be possitive.

A New day... Another morning with happy you're gone, just woke up and this song is playin. Urgh. Yesterday was.... Incredible and weird.
I love the smell of coffee in the morning. The coffee I make is the best.
Yesterday I almost fucked my table up when I saw some random video sayin like : I'm FX trader, when I wake up the first thing is ? Make a guess. Yes, coffee. We, traders, drink 2 or 3 in the morning. And I was like : yes, sirrr,, sameee heree..
And that call I had yesterday.... My dad simply screwed me. He made me realise that I have nothing. But he's wrong because I still have myself and I have power, I'm the shit. Just a sad lonely fuck.

First day in LTU, you gotta be kidding me ? : DD
The most interesting day ever. But in a strange way!
Things are good.
Good, yes.

Breathe me,
Every time you close your eyes.
Taste me,
Every time you cry... This memory will fade away and die... JUST FOR TODAY...

Blessed with lucky 7's

Tired, sooo tired, day after day. Well it's gonna be over in no time anyway, gotta keep calm and move on.
Brb in Vilnius in 5 more days, dunno if I want to go back and be there. Ain't no reason for me to even live and exist there.
Anyway, a lot of "pending" business stuff is still there so I must face it somehow.
My heart is beating now like crazy. (Just a random coffee overdose)
And I'm gettin tired of my suit and this official look all the time. Nothing I can do about it. And I won't be able to.

Na ką, pasiruošęs ryt būti Kaune, tada į Panevėžį ir į Vilnių kokį šeštadienį ar penktadienį, manau dar sugalvosiu kada.
Nuotaika gan šūdina, bet on the other hand, optimistiška.
Viskas kažkaip keista.
But all good.

Cause I can see in the dark

I can, I don't even need any Infra or any red.
Have a lot of things to do and surprisingly I'm pretty close to literally DOIN IT. (Inhale)
I had an oppurtunity to speak Italian and now I know how bad am I, but not a big deal here I guess, gotta keep on going. Two steps forward, one step back. But still an uptrend.
Argh, that damn morning coffee, I can't stop drinking it like I used to do before.
I feel sick and tired from being sick and tired of not doing enaugh in my life.
And gettin real tired of shitty things around me.

 Šeštadienis, 9:48, saulė dar nepakilusi, oras giedras ir bus graži diena. Dega žvakės kvepiančios jazminais.
Labai geros sakyčiau, bėga dienos. Linas dar negreit turėtų grįžti į Vilnių. O ir gerai, nes nei aš kažko, kažkieno pasiilgau, nei manęs. Tikrus draugus pasirodo, kad turiu tik "Abroad". Tikrai norėsiu čia likti visam gyvenimui, nežinau ar man dar trūko kažko, kad tuo įsitikinčiau, bet bet kokiu atveju, įsitikinau pilnai ir tvirtai.

Labai keista būtų stengtis apibūdint vidinį jausmą/jausmus, at least while I'm here. Kažkoks keistas nerimas viduje, amžinas jausmas, lyg stovėtum prie pat geriausio ir baisiausio pasaulyje atrakciono ir ruoštumeis savo eilei. Nežinau kodėl. Nežinau. Jeigu jau nuo pat ryto kyla tokios mintys ir emocijos, tai - jau kažkas įdomaus. Ta prasme kas savaitgaly ryte galėtų mąstyti ir filosofuoti apie gyvenimą ? Sakyčiau bent vakare, po poros alaus. Anyway, that's what I do pretty much all the time.
Ypač keistai pagirtinai dabar atrodo "jausmai", kurie, turbūt stebėtina, tačiau keičiasi neeepaprastai greitai. Vieno jausmo vienam nebėra, kitas sumenkęs, kitam atsirado dar stipresni nauji jausmai.. Na, keičiantis aplinkai turbūt automatiškai keitiesi ir tu. O gal prisitaikai?
Labai gera neturėti beveik jokių rūpesčių ir galvos skausmo. Taip ir turi bėgti dienos. Labai gera turėti tų, su kuriais jas gali praleisti. Tik bent jau man, reikia tokių draugų, kurie patys pirmi ateitų į ligoninę, jei mane ten paguldytų. Daugumai nusispjaut.
Manau šiandien bus pirma diena, kai nedirbsiu nieko, tad ramiai pasivaikščiojęs po miestą nueisiu į kokį kiną ar į atrakcionus, nes į abu turim bilietus.
Smile like you mean It.

I'm about to have a girlfriend.

Turn it on every time it's raining and you look through your window.
Things aren't easy. Some people think it sucks to see your TVs remote control 2feet away from where you are, because it's "far away".
But some people don't give a single shit even if what they need is in Indonesia or stuff like that. It doesn't seem so far away.
Wise words from Lee. Keep it cool.

Yup, soo Goodbye, loosers.

Kurią patenkint šiandien ? Pm.

.

Lee is going back to Vilnius. 3hours in the car, 4/5hours left.

.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years

And I'm going under.

.

Ant laužo keptos krevetės, rytas, kava ir nuoskaudos.
Live a day with me, live my life.
Take a closer look at
how itt feels
to be me.

.

Lygiai 5 ryto, tuoj keliamės ir dirbame. Visi kartu, su kava ir pienu. Su sushi ir kinu.

.

Never listen to Nasty Girl with a hot girl at 4 ryto. Šviesu.